A Provincial Lady visits the Lake
by constantlearner
Summary: How might our favourite characters appear to other visitors to the lake? Set immediately after "Picts and Martyrs". This would have been crossover with Diary of a Provincial Lady, but there is no category for it. The characters were created by E.M. Delafield and Arthur Ransome. I think it is obvious which character was created by whom. Just a little piece of friviolity.
1. Chapter 1

**A Provincial Lady visits the Lake**

_14__th__ July_

Five changes on journey to Lake. Robin very happy about this as he is collecting locomotive numbers. Everyone else is fed up. By the time we arrive at the station, Vicky has been sick twice. Mademoiselle has _mal a la tete _and has become very French_. _Have _mal a la tete _myself, but someone has to ensure all luggage has been unloaded (especially Robert's fishing rods). Robert himself gone to get car organised. Robin apparently interviewing engine driver. Vicky crying. Lake District porters, reasonably enough, do not understand French. Leave Mademoiselle to comfort Vicky. Deal with luggage and porter myself. Large family (five children and mother judging by resemblance) get out. Eldest girl (looks about fourteen) marshals them onto platform, checks luggage (rather a lot of it-things in canvas bags etc.), apportions items to the rest of the family and marches them off in less time than it takes me to ensure two children and all luggage have been dis-embarked (or whatever the word is) from the train. No wonder the mother looks so serene. Somehow find myself wishing she didn't look quite so _chic _too, although on covert inspection there is nothing very special about her clothes. (_Mem_. Must at least _try_ to overcome tendency to envy.) Eldest girl pretty as well as practical. (_Query:_ Why is practicality so often associated with plain looks in fiction and people's minds. Some of the most impractical people I know are rather plain.) Beseech Robin not to get caught in some esoteric bit of locomotive. Am told with the withering scorn of ten-years-old that other chaps' mothers Do Not Make Such a Fuss.

Farmhouse very much what was expected, with idyllic view of Lake. Forgive Robert immediately for choice of holiday destination. Mrs Dixon very friendly, does not seem to stop talking. The Great Local Excitement is the recent Disappearance of Miss Turner. Judging by description, would think entire district would be glad if Miss Turner Disappeared Entirely. Instead it would appear that everyone turned out to look for her, although this might be on account of a general affection for Mrs Blackett (Poor Lady) who was on a cruise for her health at the time. Local opinion appears to be that Miss Nancy seems to have managed very well despite Being a Caution – and Miss Peggy as well, of course.

Can't help wondering what it must be feel like to be "Miss Peggy as well of course" and then realise that perhaps I am an "as well, of course." Darkly suspect that is exactly how Lady B sees me. Am determined to forget Lady B for a week. Mrs. D probably glad to tell this story to someone who doesn't already Know All About It. Mr D is clearly a man of few words ("Champion" being the most used so far.) Do not feel surprised by this.

Vicky and Robin delighted with farm animals. Mademoiselle less so. Walk down to look over the lake after supper. (Have discovered that dinner signifies the midday meal here). Good view of wooded island quite close by. Tall pine tree at north end. Someone climbing it with rope attached to waist. Robin immediately filled with admiration and desire to emulate. Seized with visions of Robin stuck up tree like kitten. Worse - Robin falling from tree. Attempt to ban tree climbing. Told by Robin and Robert not to fuss. Compromise (small trees only) reached. Boy on island reaches ground before Mademoiselle succumbs to hysterics on his behalf. Walk back to farm.

There is a rowing boat that Robert may use for fishing, if it is not urgently required.

_15__th__ July _

Next morning Vicky and Robin up early. Come racing in to tell me that that "That boy" is swimming around the island, that there are lots of them camping over there and can they go swimming /sailing/ camping too. Robert offers to take Robin fishing with him in the boat and points out dead calm so no sailing possible anyhow. Vicky immediately very offended. Mademoiselle is _blesse_ on her behalf. Restrain myself from saying "_encore une fois_". Husband and son despatched with fishing rods in Dixon's rowing boat. Mademoiselle and Vicky set off on healthy walk. Should catch up on correspondence and serious reading without intricacies of Cook and housemaid giving notice and WI to distract me. Instead find myself gazing at view.

Vicky arrives back with three little girls (two older and one younger) to say that Dot and Bridget and Titty are going wood gathering with the others because of the calm, and they might go and see two Billies, and could she go too. Anticipate all sorts of problems with lunch (I mean dinner) and Mrs Dixon, but say I will go and ask. All go to the kitchen. Many exclamations from Mrs Dixon, hugging Dot and making enquiries about families and immediate offers to make sandwiches, production of a bag of toffees and a pork pie in a dish and is Robin going too? Look out of window and see Robin trudging despondently up field, fidgeting and fishing apparently being incompatible in Robert's opinion. Robin immediately more cheerful and eager to go too. Evidently thinks better of laughing at the strange name. Mrs Dixon tells Miss Dot to tell Miss Susan that it didn't matter about tea, but she'd like them back for supper and that there was no hurry about the dish. Miss Titty politely asks me if this leaves us on our own and would Mademoiselle and I like to come too? Only (meaningful glance at our shoes) the woods are rather steep. I glance at Mrs Dixon who tells her such rushing about is best for young folk and I politely decline.

Rest of the day is very quiet. I try not to worry. Robin and Vicky come back and say they saw the Billies who have an adder in the box and if it is find tomorrow can they go sailing with the others? Vicky adds that she is older than Bridget. Robin points out that he is older than Roger (by a few weeks, says Vicky.) Robin points out that that makes him much older than Bridget. Vicky says that Bridget used to be called Vicky but isn't now. Also, Vicky would like to wear shorts like Nancy and Peggy. Robert says no daughter of his going about dressed like that, male dress on females not suitable for any lady, however young. Robin asks again about sailing. Robert says that's all very well but do they know their business in a boat? Robin says that they are all able seamen, except of course Bridget. Robert says all very well but can they _sail. _Mrs. Dixon says all very good except Bridget who is young yet. Robert says "we'll see" in the tone that usually means no. Matter shelved until tomorrow. Robin and Vicky settle to sleep unusually quickly.

_16__th__ July_

Lingering over a cup of tea and yesterday's crossword after breakfast when Alarmingly Competent Young Man and Frighteningly Forthright Young Lady appear, _both_ in shorts. Expect Robert to dispprove. Instead he stands up and is all politeness. On closer inspection, this pair appear to be about fifteen or sixteen. They are about to introduce themselves when Mrs Dixon comes in with fresh pot of tea, exclamations, more toffee and another pork pie. Introductions somehow effected. John and Nancy say they thought they had better see us and check it really is alright for Vicky and Robin to come sailing, "because Susan said so". Wonder who Susan is. Nancy asks how far they can swim and John says not to worry because he will make sure they will only be in a boat with himself or Nancy in charge. They exchange glances and say "or Peggy or Susan?" Having no idea who Peggy and Susan are, do not know what to say. Look at Robert who gives this amendment his approval and says to "Send our two back when you've had enough of them". Vicky and Robyn arrive downstairs with towels and bathing costumes, looking hopeful. John returns empty pork-pie dish and Nancy sweeps them all away.

Mademoiselle mopes; Robert goes fishing in a tarn (small lake) and catches two trout which we have for midday dinner; I make splendid progress with correspondence, less so with serious reading.

Vicky and Robin arrive back tired and happy (and for a wonder not bickering.) They say is it alright for them to go tomorrow? I agree.


	2. Chapter 2

**Provincial lady chapter 2**

_17__th__ July_

Breakfast early. Robert announces he will fish in nearby small tarn. Vicky announces that Bridget has a cat called Sinbad and he is Quite Definitely a Boy. Cannot help thinking any reference to most recent kitten crisis is ill-advised. Robin makes a series of announcements; most of them begin "John says". Porridge for breakfast.

Spend the morning writing more letters. Postpone serious reading to another day. Mademoiselle decides to walk into village in the afternoon. Start article for magazine about modern parenting. Just after three o'clock, Mrs D comes to tell me that Mrs Walker and Mrs Blackett have rowed round from Holly Howe to call. Since Mrs Walker is clearly the serenely efficient mother of the Alarmingly Competent Young Man and the Briskly Efficient Schoolgirl and three others, I immediately feel inadequate. Tidy hair. Remind myself that at least Mrs Blackett is the mother of two Cautions and has had the misfortune to mislay an aunt whilst not even in the country. Half-way downstairs I remember that Mrs Blackett is the type of woman who goes on cruises and is the mother of the Frighteningly Forthright Young Lady. Too late to change into a more becoming frock. Doubt it would give _enough _extra confidence anyway.

Enter parlour to find one tall, slim lady and one short, plump one. Closer inspection shows that tall, slim lady is not much above average height when not standing next to short plump one. Short plump lady (Mrs B) is not in the least bit frightening (although slightly forthright). Slim lady turns out to be less alarming than I feared and brought up in Australia. Australia and coast of Norway quite amusing and safe topics of conversation. Mrs W married to a naval officer. Get the distinct impression that Mrs B is a widow. Both very sympathetic regarding kitten problem, although Mrs B begs me not to mention it to her daughters. Very jolly afternoon. Can't remember when I last chatted to anyone like that without worrying that I was Letting Robert Down, making a poor impression on Rose's friends or giving Lady B more ammunition. Mrs D's Victoria sponge is splendid.

Afternoon ends with an invitation to come to Beckfoot tomorrow for lunch and tea and bring Robert to meet Mrs B's brother. Mrs B mysteriously announces that the children will probably like to climb the Matterhorn. Dare say she is right, but fail to see how this can be accomplished in England. Perhaps I looked puzzled. Mrs B says reassuringly that both her little girls know the way quite well. Mademoiselle arriving back from village and is included in the invitation. I begin to enquire as to the whereabouts of Beckfoot, but am told that "the children" will collect us and sail us there.

Mrs B and Mrs W then row across to the island to leave a message for the children about this. Mrs W rowing and indeed very competent, so far as I am any judge.

Cannot really see Frighteningly Forthright Young Lady as anyone's little girl.

Mademoiselle begins to iron best dresses for Vicky, me and herself. Mrs D suggests best clothes not necessary and will not "stay best after a day with the Blackett lasses." Mademoiselle sniffs loudly and continues. Vicky and Robin arrive back for supper tired but happy.

_18__th__ July_

Vicky scorns best dress with information that none of the others will wear frocks like that unless great aunt makes them. Mademoiselle feels _blesse. _Vicky unwisely mentions shorts again. I think of potential damage to new best dress and expense of replacing it. Am about to suggest ordinary frock more suitable when Robert decides Vicky will Do As She is Told. Vicky sulks. Robin (of all people!) suggests at least not stockings because of sailing. I agree hastily. Vicky enquires, does this mean she does not have to wear liberty bodice either? I agree hastily again. Vicky so pleased she actually attempts to kiss Robin. Robin obviously secretly pleased but maintains he is too old to be kissed by girls, adding that he bets John does not kiss girls.

Vicky and Mademoiselle go upstairs again. Vicky arrives back with socks instead of stockings and small bundle into which I do not inquire too closely. Mademoiselle arrives downstairs in newly trimmed summer hat.

Susan (Briskly Practical Schoolgirl) and Peggy arrive to fetch us, with the information that we are going in _Swallow_ and _Amazon _and the younger ones have gone ahead in _Scarab._ Vicky's face falls at this but lights up again when she discovers that Bridget has not gone ahead.

Vicky, Robin, self in brown-sailed boat with John, Susan and Bridget. Susan makes polite conversation. John concentrates almost ferociously on sailing.

Overhear fragments from other boat. Peggy valiantly attempting to converse with Mademoiselle in French. Relieved Robert evidently not being outspoken about shorts, as two people being forthright in one small boat would be one too many.

Beckfoot very pleasant. Mr. T. not as short as I expected, but plump like his sister. He, too, has tall, thin friend. Mr S a young man of very few words indeed. Makes Mr. D look garrulous. Children despatched to go up local mountain, described variously as the Matterhorn and Kachenjunga with picnic prepared by Beckfoot Cook (_query: would I have more success in keeping a cook for more than a year if Vicky hugged them in enthusiastic greeting? Abandon idea as Robin very unlikely to hug anyone, regarding the practice as unmanly_.) Mrs. W already there, having been brought across in_ Scarab. "_Lucky we're all quite small." say Titty.

Mademoiselle very taken with Mr S. Mr S looks terrified (as well he might, mutters Robert privately) and decides to accompany children up mountain. Mademoiselle immediately conceives it as her duty to accompany Vicky.

Half an hour later just as we are sitting down to a pleasant lunch, Mademoiselle, full of woe, returns accompanied by Nancy, complete with a pleasant smile that seems to affect her mouth only. Mademoiselle settled at table in slippers belonging to Peggy.

Nancy deaf to suggestions that she stay for lunch now she is here and hurries off to rejoin others. Mademoiselle perks up considerably during the course of the meal. Whether this is due to the attention paid to her by Mr. T or the good food I should not like to say.

Children and Mr S return in time for tea, all apparently ravenous. John and Nancy poring over maps and do not go with the others to show Robin and Vicky the pigeons and something called the Dog's home. (No dogs involved). Nancy remarks innocently that they haven't got an armadillo either. Much laughter. Do not understand joke but should be surprised if that young lady ever does anything innocently.

Mrs B suggests that she takes Mrs W, Mademoiselle and self to see home of Well-known Lake District children's author in Rattletrap tomorrow. Rattletrap apparently a car. Nancy and John, suggest hastily that they drop us off at Beckfoot tomorrow. Any excuse for sailing is apparently a good excuse.

Others return from "Dog's home" wanting to visit a place called Horseshoe Cove tomorrow and looking at John and Nancy for approval. Wish my own children were that anxious for my approval. Nancy says "We can do both providing there's enough wind. What do you think, commodore?" Even after such a short acquaintance, very surprised to see Forthright Young Lady deferring to anyone. The upshot is that Robert and the children are to join the trip to Horseshoe cove and we are to be taken to Beckfoot.

Return home with everybody happy. Enjoy unaccustomed novelty.

_19__th__ July_

Journey to Beckfoot in with John and Titty very pleasant (still have not plucked up courage to enquire about unusual name.) Robert says he was shown a small tarn and "left to get on with it". His ideal day in fact. Has caught a number of trout. Vicky pours forth a torrent of information about a secret valley before asking "I'm not the sort who can't keep a secret am I? Roger and Robin say I can't, but I can." Gently suggest that essential part of keeping a secret is not telling anyone. Vicky sulks. Robin says can they camp on the island with the others, just for one night? Robert says camping on an island nothing like camping in the garden, they cannot come back in the middle of the night if bored, cold and uncomfortable. Robin assures us they would not be bored, cold and uncomfortable if in a proper camp. Says one of the older ones will probably get the milk tomorrow to see what we think of the idea. Say feebly I will discuss it with Robert after they have gone to sleep. Too shattered by trip in Rattletrap to make any attempt at discussion tonight. Mrs B is teaching Mrs W to drive. This is to be kept a Secret from All. Parts of the trip with Mrs B driving MUCH more nerve-wracking. Mademoiselle disappointed that Mr T and Mr s not of the party, having to visit a mine instead.

_20__th__ July _

Somehow have agreed to Vicky and Robin camping on Wildcat Island tonight. Not much wind today. Am apparently expected to commiserate on this. We are invited over to inspect the camp. Mrs D surprisingly accommodating about blankets and pillows etc. Have tea on Wild Cat Island and make the acquaintance of Polly, a parrot. Polly is apparently a male parrot. Robert asks why he's called Polly and is told that it's because he's a parrot. Apparently, he used to belong to Mr T. The cage sits on a rather magnificent dry-stone plinth with perching sticks. Idea of Bridget and Vicky sharing a tent vetoed by Susan who says privately that she is worried that Vicky will wake up in the night frightened. Trial run with Vicky sharing Titty's tent not entire successful. They fit, but Roger cheerfully remarks that they are touching the sides and that water will come through if it rains. This worries Vicky. Everyone else points out that rain most unlike put she refuses to be reassured. Nancy calls Roger a galoot. Roger remarks that he "was just saying". John tells him he can just say somewhere else, if he's not going to think beforehand. Nancy says Vicky had better share with Peggy then and she will sleep outside for once.

Idea of Robin sharing with Roger mooted. A lot of significant looks exchanged between John and Susan. Dick offers to share. A quick glance inside Dick's tent shows more "important things that must not be thrown away" (mostly but not entirely rocks) that even Robin could manage to collect in such a short space of time. Dorothea explains that her father is an archaeologist. It seems a perfectly reasonable explanation to me. Wonder if Robin would like archaeology as a career? Seems ideally suited. Quite like the idea of wintering in Mediterranean. Are they allowed to bring their mothers? To my complete embarrassment, I discover I have said this out loud. Dorothea replies seriously that she doesn't know about mothers, but her mother sometimes goes with her father and they did too last Christmas holidays, if children allowed, why not parents?

Susan and Peggy beginning preparations for supper. We leave them to it and are rowed back by Nancy and John. Glance back at the boat as we walk up the field and happen to catch John's expression when he looks at Nancy. Maybe John doesn't kiss girls, but I don't think he's as adverse to the idea as Robin believes. Say as much to Robert who says sternly I Mustn't Gossip, and then adds she seems a very intelligent young lady, and he seems a sensible lad so they would suit well. Robert adds that my intelligence was what attracted his interest. Feel myself blush at this unaccustomed compliment.

_21__st__ July_

Titty and Dorothea row across in _Scarab _to fetch milk. I wish to appear Modern and unworried but Mademoiselle makes anxious enquires. Titty and Dorothea reply both Vicky and Robin perfectly well and happy and will be brought back after breakfast. Both girls unaccountably deaf when I ask if my children were any trouble.

Robin and Vicky return cheerfully and inform me that they have learned to peel potatoes. Vicky tells me Roger and Robin had a pillow fight and nearly had Roger's tent down and Susan said he had better sleep in John's tent and John had to sleep outside. Robin accuses Vicky of telling tales. Both children squabble throughout Healthy, Modern family ramble.

I tell Mademoiselle, with the air of someone conferring a favour, that I will pack the suitcases, if she will keep an eye on the children. She agrees politely, but is evidently Not Fooled.


End file.
